


The universe between us

by from_theeast



Category: NU'EST
Genre: Alternate Universe, Astronaut Jonghyun, Astronaut Minhyun, Astronomy, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Outer Space, Self-Reflection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-30
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:48:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22035082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/from_theeast/pseuds/from_theeast
Summary: An astronaut and a whale, wandering around the outer space, searching for their own meanings.
Relationships: Hwang Minhyun & Kim Jonghyun | JR, Hwang Minhyun/Kim Jonghyun | JR
Comments: 15
Kudos: 25





	1. The Astronaut & Whale 52

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Astronaut’s Whale](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/545989) by Joey.B. 



> First of all, thank you for deciding to click on this title. Please kindly pay your attention and give this fic a liitle patience to have full understanding. Because of my lack knowledgement, It's quiet messy child after all TvT

This was how they met.

Minhyun was shaken and slowly opened his eyes, his whole body was suffering an invalid pain, especially the right shoulder.

"Hello."

Minhyun looked around, he was in somewhere full of darkness decorated with blurry bands of sunlight intertwined each other. Using his squinty eyes, Minhyun searched for a clue of the Earth, but there was nothing. Without sound excepted his breaths, he looked at his feather light body which was tucked in a big fluffy white suit and he's wearing a helmet. Oh, now he remembered, he must pass out thanked to a hit from a fragment of the comet storm.

"Hello. I should wait for you to wake up but you just sleep so much and I'm not a patient fish."

The voice greeted him again. He blinked twice to clear the vision to search for the source. In front of him, it was a large whale facing, whose inky eyes looked deep down at his, then it twirled, eyes were fixed on him.

"You are not surprise to see me."

"There's nothing being surprise or being afraid."

"How long have you been here?"

"36 hours."

MInhyun looked at his console he was wearing on his arm, touched it and on the glass of his helmet, figures popped up showing him his condition. The report showed that oxygen level was 35%, he could still survive for more 10 hours.

"How long have you been here?"

"I don't know. Days, months, years. Time is not a concept when you are out of space. I found you while you were spininng around, you seemed unconscious. Are you lost, C.Leo?"

The whale hummed in response, used its fin to push both itself and Minhyun floating together.

"Yes, I am. I am an astronaut, serving in South Korea, I'm on a mission to fix S.K 0315. It is a small unmanned satellite needing to maintain every 5 years. I was swept away by a sudden storm, my rope was cut and I was thrown away from my base. And my name is Minhyun, C.Leo is my code name, every astronomer has a code name. C means Cosmos and Leo is the star that I was born under.”

He touched the badge which was now faded a little and had little scratch.

"How should I call you? I can't keep calling you Whale. I can but yeah it's...rude?"

"Well, whatever you have thought about."

"I don't know...huhm...nobody names their fish in my hometown."

"52. You can call me 52."

"Okay. Why did you leave the ocean, 52?"

52 frowned for a while.

"One day, when I was following my friends, we were on a trip to across the other side of the submarine, a sudden groundswell hit me, it wrapped and rolled me away from my people. I started to scream and cry, managed to escape. Many creatures watched me pass by, seaweed waved at me, lobsters whispered, starfishes thought of helping me but the idea was too slow to the speed of the tide. I was miserably struggle to swim against cold flow, swung my big tale, but the voice in the middle of the ocean kept on cheerfully telling me about what a great adventure it would be: Can you see? Many spontaneous moments, no boundary, mysterious limit. A beautiful vision that you don't ask for. 

The groundswell stopped you in the middle of the shallow, maybe, maybe by the cliff of the sea heart where you couldn’t feel any heartbeat. And you realized how strange the ocean was. You ran away.”

"But the universe is strange, too."

"Nothing's more terrible than feeling strange in your own home."

Minhyun smiled understandingly, first time for awhile and the whale wouldn't skip it.

"You have a beautiful smile, Humans. Sad but beautiful."

"Thank you, but there is another one has a more beautiful smile than mine."

"May I ask who?"

"Kim Jonghyun, that's his name."

"Oh... So how does he look like? Does he look like moonlight, sunshine,...? Does he smell like any flower or fine wine?"

Minhyun seemed surprise.

"You know, people always become poetic when facing the ocean, when the waves crawling on the sand, slightly reach their toes. Somehow the color blue has painted their soul blue, they are, for a moment, hopeless romantic."

Minhyun couldn’t answer immediately and the Whale let his have some times. It continuedly waved fins to drive both of them ahead, they went through one of the transparent bands of sunlight he had seen before. Minhyun imagined themselves as Pale Blue Dot and there was a Voyager 1 which was now photographing them.

"Well, he maybe like moonlight, the kind of light that keeps you dreaming about, conceals all of your secrets but exposes them at the same time. But he's more like 7 a.m. thought when you just wake up from a sleepless night and craves for coffee or a silent walk after hard working day. Or a delicious lunch at the canteen."

"You are hungry."

"Definitely, and cold, too. Nobody compares their love with a cheap meal."

"Well, lucky for you we’ve arrived."

Minhyun confused but then in the dark, a huge old spaceship revealed itself slowly. On the old broken body is "RUSSIA’S NEW METHOD", faded like the forgotten treasure.

"You purposely lead us here? Oh my 52!!!"

"I can't let you die. Who will be out here talk to me?"

\---

Russia’s New Method was an experimental spaceship. According to the black box, it had been attacked by unpredictable comet currents, its body had been damaged so hard, after the crew reported to the government, they had been ordered to use support spaceship back to hometown. Not long after they left, two more currents attacked the ship, pulled and pushed, the ship then had been now out of it orbit but miraculously survival even though now it's weak. The power was not stable, any order could make the alert turned red. Minhyun carried all the leftover food and water to the control room, categorized it into meals, about 10 zip locks and 5 cans. He also luckily enough to find clean clothes, he changed into it while charging his suit. On his discovery trip, the oxygen hold was still working but it costed a lot of gasoline, so he extracted as much as oxygen he could into the diving bottles, the system also only reeked fresh air into the control cabin, then he shut down whole hold.

"Can you believe that, after all these developments, revolutions, we are back using Morse code."

He reached to the main board and started inputting the code he had learnt by heart ".... . .-.. .--. -- ." then send under the name C.Leo-SK0315. The Whale which thought that its body was too huge to fit in the small control cabin, decided to wander outside, through a large transparent window, looked at how exciting Minhyun was when he found out that the communication system still working even though it’s out of fashion. Minhyun thought they both fitted in, after all, this spaceship was still a big all white one, like an egg shell, but the Whale denied.

"It's not hard to understand. The core of those is still to keep in touch. Humans is lonely creature, the concept of soulmate, twin flame or the revolution of communications is the evidence of the desire to be understood and to understand, to be loved and love. To be completed and have the right to complete each other.

Unless the purpose was changed, any method is fashionable."

Under supervision of 52, Minhyun foraged about in box which had a "American taste" on it and found 2 CDs which included a few song he knew: Fly me to the moon - Frank Sinatra, Three o'clock in the morning - Lou Rawls, People -Barbra Streisand. He inserted one of them to the player, maximize the volume and leaned on the glass of the window while starting to have his first meal for a while. Both of them enjoyed the music, sometimes 52 hit the tale to the glass when it wanted to talk, sometimes Minhyun pressed his palm on the cold glass surface to catch its attention.

Most of the times they chose to be silent, let the music tenderly flow in their body, escape the cabin, full fill the space. Whenever the playlist came to Three o'clock in the morning, again and again, he hummed, titled his head back. The melodies like blood running through his veins, wrapped his body and then drowned it in the warm of memories.

It happened in fall of his third year being a university student. His school held a prom night at the best conference in the central of the city, everyone was invited, seniors, juniors, families and friends. His crew was too old to be the Prom King and Queen but still young enough to dress nicely and embarrassing themselves on the dance floor, colorful balloons and banners were everywhere, The DJ shouted out to all the future conquerors that this song was made for them. The ball was filled with bands of light like the outer space he’s stucking right now, but the lights were clear and sharp, and among all of the attendees and cheesy lyrics, Jonghyun in his classic blue suit, looked calm and beautiful like the sky line where the dark night met the ocean. The view made Minhyun dizzy, even though he hadn’t drunk anything so he grabbed come cups to make the feeling became real physically and when he started to swallow liquor, he collected his courage, too.

"Can I have this dance?"

He asked. Jonghyun stared at him and then smiled, Minhyun thought he’d seen a light of sunrise appearing from the sky line.

"Thought you would never ask."

_It’s three o’clock in the morning_

_We’ve danced the whole night through_

_And daylight soon will be dawning_

_Just one more waltz with you_

_That melody so entrancing_

_Seems to be made for us two_

_I could just keep on dancing forever, dear, with you._

With Jonghyun in his arm, his laughing echoes by ears, hair smelled like perfect Malibu cocktail, Minhyun lived his best life at that moment. And the moment was short, even shorter than the song which was playing, because when Minhyun decided to lower his head, when Jonghyun's breaths were lied right there beautifully on his lips, Jonghyun turned his head and walked away.

Minhyun was never an alcoholic but he accepted every single invitation, even the dance. He swung and danced and laughed until his cheeks hurt and eyes got teary, caught every single beat and miscounted some color decorations, yelled out his friends name. The party seemed last forever for him until Sujin dragged him out. On the way back to the campus, his body was stuck in the extra seat next to his sister but his soul still lingering around the party, each wheel spin was each time he thought about Jonghyun, Had he left the party yet, or he’s holding someone else? Had he slept or he hidden himself somewhere or lying on someone's bed to figure out their relationship? Did he still feel the warm of the holding hand before or the cologne on their outfit? Cause Minhyun did and it made him sick.

"I wonder if he is searching for me, like he really cares. Does he miss me like the way I miss him? When he stands by me, I miss him. When we sneak out and climb up to the roof top, I tell him about mythical legend of stars and he teaches me to read them, I miss him. His voice, the gaze, color of the hair. Even the small mole on his right lid only can see when he closes his eyes.”

The Whale twirled silently then closed it eyes like it consoled a beautiful forgotten treasure.

\---

It had happened so quick.

They’d been in the middle of the conversation about how Jonghyun would love to stay at home more than go outside when the red alert started to ring loudly. He’d reached out to the main board, the radar had found another attack, it's been the third time of 2 hours. Minhyun’d tried to drive it to the save place but the current was so dense, greedily swallowed his spaceship, chewed it like crappy cookies. The whale even used its large body like a shield to cover the ship, even the spaceship itself fought back too but it's too old and withered because of the forgotten had eaten it inside out. The system reported sorrowfully that there's a hole in the hull, the oxygen system now broken, the oxygen level in the control cabin would soon run out. That it was sorry to tell Minhyun that he was getting out of time.

"It's okay."

He caressed the metal surface, eased the hull which was growling by the pain, but he himself couldn’t stop shaking. It's getting colder and colder, like Jonghyun's embrace. 52 was wounded after the attack so it decided to stay inside the cabin but Minhyun thought the whale was searching for some warm, too. Just like 52, Minhyun was injured while trying to cover the hole, save the spaceship, his only shelter then and now, his left leg was cut and bruises on his already rib fracture.

Minhyun had drunk the last water bottle 2 days ago. As long as he stayed here, he was not hungry. The coldness covered his body while inside him the molecules were craving for more water, so he tossed in his white suit. Sometimes 52 would appear outside the spaceship, swinging its tale and they have some conversations through huge glass window, sometimes it came back inside and swam happily along with the music when there’s something like a signal on the monitor, a spark of hope that after many S.O.S messages, formal to informal, both wrong and right protocol, had been sent and responded, or chose to disappear and let Minhyun alone lying on the ground in total darkness.

Light was off, the engine stopped but manage to do the last favor: kept the gravity system working. At least Minhyun didn’t have to float around and threw out even it’s nothing in his stomach.

“Did you ever confess?”

“Yes, 52. Many times in our lives. Somewhere in the middle of the kisses we gave each other in his old Ford. When my hand stroked his soft skin, I was sober and he pretended to be drunk. Back to my room at hometown, I often took him with me when we had short breaks.”

52 stayed outside, it seemed to skip Minhyun’s words and gazed at the space, out here stars were not sparkling like when we watched them form the Earth, everything was a little faded away even yourself, in the unlimited cosmos arena. Inside, the radar again whispered to Minhyun that it found something but he ignored it, as the way he ignored if the Whale was listening or not. He inhaled and frowned when the pain hit him.

“Jonghyun used to told me that Humans after all were just a ground creature pretends that belonged to the sky. Few times, when he was training with others, he looked around to see determination burning in their eyes, the desire to be out here, and for him it just showed how lonely we were, we are and forever will be.

So I spent my time seeking for the real reason, an answer for this urge to have connection to everything. As if it can decrypt us, as if it could give me a chance to split into his Fortress of Solitude.”

“Did you find it?”

"I did. It happened long time ago, Humans were created as four-armed, four-legged, two-faced creatures, but split apart by Zeus and condemned to spend life searching for their other halves.”

When one of them meets with his other half, the actual half of himself, whether he be a lover of youth or a lover of another sort, the pair are lost in an amazement of love and friendship and intimacy, and would not be out of the other’s sight, even for a moment.

“I can never tell him"

"You will, Minhyun. When you are back home. Go and tell him."

"As if I will go home."

"You will. Cause I'm going home and you are, too. We have gone so far and so long. Where we live, adaptation is not an option, it's somehow like breathing in a whole swimming pool. Tiredness and lonesome come at us at any moment, but a fish should be in the water, and Humans belongs to Earth. And if you took time out here as long as I did, you would see nothing but comet and asteroids, do you know why there are many? Because they were split by Zeus, too and can't keep themselves flying to each other and colliding even they don't know it will create a planet or burn them to ash."

Behind the Whale, suddenly appearing from nowhere, was a large shiny dazzling metal object, but Minhyun couldn’t see clearly cause 52’s body standing against its light.

“See, see. I’ve tried to tell you this.”

The whole hull started to shake excitingly, yelled at him as it cherished this guest.The Whale twirled then moved away to reveal for Minhyun to see, a thick dark “S.K – The New East Fleet” painted carefully on a spaceship, proudly announced its appearance to both 52 and Minhyun with both of the flash lights were directedly into his eyes.

There's a loud noise, continued with the raspy sound of metal gates were forced to be opened, next by next, scratched to the thick atmosphere. Foot steps came after foot steps.

The gate lead to him would soon widely open and he was afraid. Is this real? He asked himself. Cause he heard the voice, raspy and choked, too sharp for a heart-to-heart talk. But he only saw white, maybe he now was blinded but his eyes still naturally seek for the voice which was murmuring a pray to Minhyun. A little more, it's begging.

“Go home, Minhyun. Please, go home with me.”

His head was lifted up and body was covered in someone’s arms. Minhyun tried to look at the window again, eyes widely opened to seek for the Whale. 52 hadn't left yet, it was waving its fin and murmuring something but Minhyun's brain refused to understand, a goodbye? Or see you later? Or please don't forget me? So this was how the whale had felt when the groundswell attacked it. Please don't forget me.

Minhyun was suffocating, somebody took off his helmet in attempt to make him breath but they didn’t understand. Because of the Hopeless flowers in his lungs and throat, it had used his last oxygen and water in his dry body and now blooming vividly. He closed his eyes. The voice still chasing after him even though he slipped to his long-lasting sleep. Minhyun was surprise when he felt tears drop on his face. It reminded him of the hot wet late summer night, Jonghyun and him had been riding on highway, street lights drawed Jonghyun's side face, marigold stars dripping from his eyes and Minhyun had been too scared to touch. He sighed, felt his delicate destiny slipping away from his hand.


	2. Leo & his Hercules

Minhyun had been so quiet recently. Back to the days when he lost in his own world, Sujin still could hear the sound of his inner thoughts, but these days they chose to be silent, too.

"There will be no celebration until everything calms down and of course your condition is more stable. After the court, we will have a party, small but necessary, you know."

Minhyun hummed in response. Outside the window car, winter was coming, grey sky and cold breezes had woken up again and began their journey to spread the melancholy.

"Jonghyun called yesterday, he asked for permission to drive you to the court."

Minhyun's eyes blinked twice in surprise.

Sujin would never forget the day his little brother had been sent back to the Earth, his eyes shut and facial expression seemed so peaceful, too peaceful that make her feel there would be cruel to wake him up. Sujin had been terrified, like somebody suddenly pushed her into a huge fridge and locked, coldness crept into her spine, her head started being fuzzy, her body was frozen but her brain still worked it ass off to keep her awake.

She laid her right hand on his. They used to hold hands like this twice, when Minhyun was at his first time going to primary school and when he packed his stuff to be the space cadet. 

"You should drive with both hands, noona."

He looked at her pale trembling hand on the wheel.

"I'm a good driver."

"So I guess it's okay to stay like this."

Minhyun intertwined her hand and squeezed back.

Her little brother was born under the Leo and being exactly what a Leo should be. A romantic warrior whose shiny strong shield and long sword decorated with cistus incanus flowers, a lion with great skills to both protect and attack any time he wanted, practical mind and passion competitively running in his veins. But there's again how Leo became a star, Jonghyun was his Hercules, the only one who knew how to conquer him, not from the outside but inside, ripe his heart apart but still manage to keep the skin undamaged.

Sujin had been sure about Jonghyun at the first time they met. A young space cadet who was introduced as team leader of The New East Fleet, high cheek bone and tender smile. Twice per three months, she brought along mom cooked food to the campus for Minhyun, the little brother always stuck with Jonghyun, sometimes she caught them lost in their own world, talking in their own language, Minhyun used his cute pouty face to ask for something and Jonghyun just smiled back with hands in the pocket. When they had short breaks, Minhyun brought Jonghyun home. They used to spend one of those nights to have dinner together, Sujin would have driven them to McDonald and bought them every thing, like a reward for their hard working. There's nothing much but Minhyun happily enjoyed it. Like usual, Minhyun'd talked a lot, told her about school stuff, friends and asked her for new books to read. Jonghyun rarely joined him, he was quiet, his eyes always on the unfinished chips but she knew there's no words from Minhyun could run away. Her brother loved to call their names in between the conversation, out of no where, for fun, for more attention, but she'd thought Minhyun was afraid. Maybe Jonghyun had the same thought as well cause every time Minhyun called his name, Jonghyun hummed back softly with his fixed look at Minhyun's lips.

They usually said about the connection between twin, there's a force that made them sympathize with each other, in some cases it happened to very closed age siblings. Every time Sujin looked at the pair, she could have felt ground swells slowly abrasing Minhyun's soul with every lingering touch on Jonghyun's palms, shoulder, neck. Or the fasten heartbeats when Jonghyun laughed out loud, earnest look melted into soft moonlight.

_"Do you know whom I thought of when I was out there?"_

Minhyun had asked her after completing the first mission, he’d been quiet, opposite of how nervous and excited look on his face before. Minhyun’d stared at his screen, Pale Blue Dot, Sujin’s lock screen had that same picture. A dot where _on it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives._ The Earth when we looked at it from billion miles away was so small, blue, fragile and lonely. When drifting in its own orbit, the Earth wished to meet other planets too, but the meetings were unpredictable, if lucky enough, it could be twice a year or unfortunate, it could be hundred years.

_"It's you, noona."_

Sujin remembered the moment when she’d driven him back to campus after a 3 a.m. prom party. The try to be adult him’d been drunken and vomited a few times on the way. Once, when he’d tried to walk back to the car, focused on the ground to forget the hurt crawling in his stomach, Sujin’d suddenly come and hugged him. He’d cried, like a baby, wetted her bare shoulder, burried his face in the crooks of her neck. Again after a long time in her arms like when they’d been kids, the embrace from the sister, in the yellow long dress, Sujin’d been a powerful gatekeeper with golden spear in hand, standing in front of a rotting wooden gate which was locked to protect whatever behind it. 

_"I'm falling in love, noona. I'm falling, I can't stop..."_

And everything that fell got broken. 

\---

Jonghyun woke up from a nightmare, back to the cold hull with Minhyun lying on the metal ground, eyes widely opening. He had been in panic, his heart had raced faster than it already had been, dry throat that he could only whisper. Taking off his helmet, Jonghyun kneeled down and held Minhyun's body in his arm, searching for his reflection in the inky eyes. 

Jonghyun was the type that always missed his right time, too fast or too slow, too far away or too far backward. He was like a light, which was both curious and afraid of black hole at the same time so that light decided to wander around until it had enough courage to jump in. A lot of courage. Cause wise man said nothing could escape the black hole, nothing could refuse a mysterious dark with matte surface.

"Stardust is dead. Why do people keep on wishing to the death?"

Jonghyun’d asked once when they’d been sitting on the roof top, one of their sleepless night. 

"The power of making wishes come true makes the death of the star becomes glorious. The last moment before destruction still brings with itself a seed of hope."

So he prayed to all the dying asteroids out there because it would cost more than the life of only one star to bring back what he needed. The first and the last time, made it come true and he would bear all the consequences, he would jump without hesitation. 

The Hercules was a mythologic hero whose death was a tragically epic. The death on the love of his life's hand with skin was burnt into ash to expose all the red muscles, blood and flesh everywhere. Was this a contrast consequence of killing the Leo inside out?

\---

There's no music in the coffee shop,the "let just stay for a while" playlist had finished and the CD player was on the short break until the owner decided what would play on next. 

“Has Minhyun ever told you the reason why he became an astronomer?”

“Yes, he did.”

“When he was around 11, whole family went to the grandma house for a vacation. It was at very late night, kids like us were supposed to sleep but Minhyun didn’t. He shook me out of my bed and dragged me to the moor behind our house, near the edge of the wood.

 _It’s alien, noona._ _It’s right here, a big ray of green light and I even heard sound crackling over the radio._

He determined, his pupils were dilated. But I didn’t believe.

_If it’s true, why you’re so calm, Minhyun and why you’re still here!_

_Why am I not still here? It’s not me he’s looking for._

_What is he looking for huh?_

_I can’t tell cause I don’t know, he doesn’t know, too. But you have to believe me noona. I’m not lying, I can feel it, his missing! He is searching, planets to planets, cosmos to cosmos, years by years, for something, some one that has the power to bridge that gap to his soul…_ ”

It was ridiculous, Jonghyun admitted, but Minhyun had been so sure about his childhood memory. He’d hold Jonghyun’s hands by both of his, it’d been their first time, he looked deep down, through all of Jonghyun’s defense, stopped at the core of his heart.

_“You have to believe me, Jonghyun. Cause our bonding was real, I can say it’s the realest one I have ever felt. So raw, so bare, so poignant. More than every connection you have ever had.”_

"Where we live, adaptation is not an option. Everyday, we breathe in sadness, shower in thoughts. One night, you find yourself enjoy drinking with friends, the other night you make love with the first one who catch your attention. Next day, you wake up in stranger's bed, awkward good morning, you toss in crumble clothes, wash your face and try to wash away the hangover, too. But you know what is the worst part? You remember that stranger's name, you have learnt it by heart, the name was curved to your scalp, make you scream in the bathroom and cry when driving." 

Jonghyun looked up at Sujin, trying to sort out what he should response but only emptiness. His coat blended into the color of the chair. In Sujin’s eyes, he was perishing, from the night he’d searched for her in his classic blue suit, asked her instead of him to take care of Minhyun, to the day he’d driven to her family to announce that he’d lost Minhyun’s track, swollen eyes and tremble legs. Jonghyun never smoked, there’re strict rules to be a space cadet but she could smell the burnt nicotine on Jonghyun’s shirt, the scent was strong enough to cover all of his emotions. Did you ever see a ruin after storm? All collapsed, devasted, desolate.

Sujin didn't realize that tears had been covering her face, Jonghyun gave her tissue. The connection, she sighed.

\---

They said if the couple can greet the first snow together, they will stay like this forever.

Jonghyun rushed into the hall, covered by tiny snowflakes, he shivered and then found an empty seat to wait for Minhyun. The Court was not serious as it's called, more like an unfriendly meeting where people were paid to shake the truth out of your mouth. He immediately stood up after catching Minhyun walking out of the room. With tiredness stagnates under his eyes, Minhyun quietly followed Jonghyun into the car.

The weather made traffic slow down a little. Soon, there would be Christmas all over the city, place tinged with red and green, like traffic light, white and golden, like the short time you had to decide to speed up or full stop. Jonghyun guessed he would just speed up. Minhyun said nothing. The same nothing since he awaked, but Jonghyun knew he was talking, telling stories and own thoughts but in the language of silence that Jonghyun couldn't understand, hadn't understood yet.

They parked in front of Minhyun'shouse. Through the decorated windows, they could see people inside were ready for the welcome back party, they were smiling, chatting, drinking. Minhyun rushed out of the old Ford but instead of going inside, he leaned on the car and took a deep breath. Jonghyun let him take his time, waited a little so that Minhyun could calm down and then joined him. Their feet were deep in snow.

“I found out the answer for your question. Do you believe in soulmate, Jonghyun?”

Jonghyun moved closer until they shoulder touched, his hands loosen waiting for Minhyun's hands out of the pocket so he could hold them.

“I’m more scared, Minhyun. What will happen to the soul that never finds its half, what if the half is wrong?”

Jonghyun had been falling in love, too. On the way of falling in the narrowed rench, sharp stones cut through his flesh, sorrow called out his name. Like Minhyun, when hitting the bottom of the rench, he was broken, his million pieces were lying next to Minhyuns on the cold ground, now he not only saw but also felt all the pain Minhyun had been through.

“I'm scared, but I don't want to be a stranger. That stranger. When you washed your face, I was rubbing my face against your pillow, trying to fill my lungs with what had left over. When you washed away the hangover, I was washing away the misery, too."

When things were broken, it’s hard to pick up all of the pieces together, it happened to a relationship, too, especially the pieces were in abstract form. It took time and a lot of patience, most of all, you need a heart to do this. But was it necessary to category whose pieces? Jonghyun didn’t think so. He had more than a heart to collect, to fix both himself and Minhyun, he would carefully seal all of them together, piece by piece. He bet on their own destiny, they were neither Leo or Hercules, or the dead meteorite wandering out there.

It's could never be okay but one way or another, everything would be in its right place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you read until the last line, I would love to say thank you for your patience for this messy child. Feel free to drop any feedback or ask any question ^^ Happy New Year to everyone and of course our best boys Nu'est!!!
> 
> Then, here are some explainations for this fic, you can skip this if you want to keep your first impression, meaning, thought, etc:  
> \- The reason why Minhyun met a whale in the universe because Whale was Jonghyun's favourite creature (both in real life and in here). Also the name 52, there is The Whale, whose sound at 52hz, considered as the most lonely creature on Earth cause no whale can match its frequency and hear it.  
> \- Sujin was an outsider, she's the one who could see their relationship clearest and also s a shoulder that Minhyun could lean on. She had compassion for both of them: fully understood her little brother and never judged Jonghyun for his undefined feelings. Sometimes, we need a push to make it work, so Sujin pushed.  
> \- Sujin could see Jonghyun as Hercules and Leo was a trophy but it's a little bit more, Leo was Hercules's fate, a challenge to free himself. In Jonghyun's case, he needed to free his emotion and except it.  
> \- Yes, they actually acted like lovers, holding hands, kissing even making love and after that they pretended that it was just an uncontrolled moment and stay silently. Like one night stand with stranger.  
> \- Did Jonghyun ever love him before? Of course. But sometimes we're scared, not only in love form but in all relationships. We have only 1 heart and being afraid if we give it to wrong person, we have our own standard and big trust issue. Again there would be a person we're afraid to miss more than a broken heart. So did Jonghyun.
> 
> At the end, best wishes for brave people who dare to fall.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic has been in draft for 3 months and I just need to sort it out. Feel free to drop your opinions or any question, feed back, etc. I hope to finish it as a gift to celebrate the end of this year myself for "survive". Hope you enjoy it (without headache...)!


End file.
